Satire by Eric Curl

July 16, 2023 –  Along with their bottomless mimosas, the brunch crowd is slamming the city consultant’s recent night management study for ignoring the needs of those who like to party when the sun still shines.

Many of the complaints stemmed from early birds in line outside the latest hot breakfast spot on Sunday morning. 

“Sure, the large crowds outside bars at night can sometimes lead to problems, but us daytime imbibers should not have to wait three hours for a Bloody Mary and an omelet,” said one frustrated customer. 

Many noted the consultant’s recommendation to hire a nighttime manager.

“We should be hiring a manager of the city for the day,” Sheila, who likes to skip the OJ, said as she flaunted her flute of champagne. “Maybe then, my waitress wouldn’t take 20 minutes to give me a refill.”

The $80,000 contract with California-based Responsible Hospitality Institute (RHI) included an assessment of nighttime-related issues like public safety, transportation, tourism, noise, and alcohol control while simultaneously examining ways to enhance the growth and vibrancy of Savannah’s night-time economy, as previously reported.

There is no word yet on whether brunch is an acceptable meal for dinner.

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