Satire by Eric Curl (Guest artist Julia Licht)
April 4, 2025 – The Georgia Ports Authority is expected to stop issuing press releases every month touting record-breaking import numbers, in the wake of President Donald Trump’s ‘Liberation Day’ tariffs. Instead, they will celebrate their reduced emissions as cargo ships are replaced with smaller vessels due to a significant decline in shipments. In addition, the Savannah River will be allowed to return to its natural depth, following the harbor deepening meant to accommodate larger ships, and allow for a tunnel to Hutchinson Island. The oxygen-producing “bubblers” will be removed from the river and repurposed to spur a new carbonated beverage industry. Deepening will then recommence following a reversal of said tariffs.
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