Satire by Eric Curl
July 16, 2025 – During an incredibly slow election Tuesday, a bored Chatham County poll worker managed to count up to the last digit of pi – what had been considered an infinite number up until now.
The last number turns out to be six, Betty found, which is five more than the number of people that turned out to vote Tuesday (the candidates apparently did not make it either).
Not wanting to spend hours “doom scrolling” on social media, Betty had started her calculating as a way to pass the time after completing a 2,000-page novel. To her surprise, she managed to reach pi’s final digit with an hour to spare – leaving her enough time to also figure out a long sought unified theory of physics.
In related news, Georgia Power announced it will be increasing rates to cover the costs of the various polling station’s electricity usage Tuesday.
“It has nothing to do with the increasing demand of data centers,” one official insisted.
Also, Tuesday’s lone voter, Bob, is being labeled as a “kingmaker” after determining the winner due to his casting the deciding – and only – vote.
“The funny thing is, I just needed to use the restroom real bad,” he said. “They said I had to vote for someone first.”
Related – Hubbard to challenge incumbent Fitz Johnson in PSC District 3 after runoff win>
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