Satire by Eric Curl
June 16, 2024 – In a historic first, Chatham County is set to celebrate the election of the 2025 county commission five months before voters hit the polls to determine who will be filling the seats.
While the coming November election results are not known, county officials said they scheduled a swearing in ceremony ahead of time to make sure everyone was able to attend the event.
The reasoning is similar to why the county chose to hold a ground-breaking ceremony for the new public safety complex, despite the lack of a contractor or funding for the project.
“This has nothing to do with politics,” said no one in particular. “We like to make sure we give officials plenty of notice.”
Meanwhile, Board of Elections officials are gearing up for the 8th District Chatham County Commission primary runoff between county commission Democratic candidates Laureen Monica Boles and Marsha Buford on Tuesday. There were no Republicans qualified, which will make Tuesday’s vote the one that decides the election.
“If the runoff is anything like the primary, we need to be ready for two, maybe three dozen voters,” one optimistic election official said.