Satire by Eric Curl
Dec. 25, 2024 – The addition of a third log to the fireplace recently drew criticism from observers, who said that two were sufficient for delivering a warm and cozy environment during the holiday season.
“We do not need to singe our eyebrows off to be comfortable,” one of the group’s most vocal members stated.
The criticism was countered by the youngest of the group, who insisted that it was still “freezing” despite wearing multiple layers of clothing and winter coat indoors. The same individual refused to go collect additional kindling for said fire, however.
Meanwhile, a consultant is recommending that the wood burning fireplace be replaced with a ” more efficient” gas fueled one, drawing rebuke from traditionalists. The matter may soon be moot, however, after a new study found Chatham County has been losing its tree canopy since at least 2010.
In related news, the holiday entertainment selection board determined in a split vote that they will watch a new Christmas movie this year, drawing a strong rebuke from one Elf fan.
#stayfrostysavannah
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