Satire by Eric Curl
May 25, 2026 – After buying the neighboring properties, SCAD traded Steven Spielberg to acquire the former Sears building across the street.
The university was saving the Oscar-winning director for a special occasion ever since ‘Saving Private Ryan’. The acquisition of the block-sized building in the heart of downtown was deemed worthy, after the building’s elusive owner notoriously refused a previous offer that included an honorary degree, an unlimited supply of monogrammed tote bags, and James Cameron.
When asked for comment, the university said the building would be demolished to make way for a private airport.
The airport will only allow Gulfstreams, as a way to show support for the community, according to a university spokesperson.
Spielberg said he was looking forward to being a dermatologist’s assistant.
“I look forward to using my eye for details in new ways,” he said.
Find more Savannah Illustrated>
LATEST SAVANNAH ILLUSTRATED
- Savannah Illustrated (Satire) – Brake Job
- Savannah Illustrated (Satire) – Blockbuster Trade
- Savannah Illustrated (Satire) – Call back
- Savannah Illustrated (Satire) – Soylent Screen
- Savannah Illustrated (Satire) – Electoral Arson
If you find value in this website, please consider contributing above or via Paypal to help cover the costs. You can also send contributions via Venmo @Savannah_Agenda. Your support, no matter how much you give, is appreciated and will help ensure the future viability of this community resource. You can also show your support by subscribing below and sharing Savannah Agenda with others via email or social media. Increasing readership is critical to the long-term success of this site.